Shifting "I'm sorry" to "Thank you."


As we open a new calendar, it's common to have thoughts about letting go of what no longer serves and to invite with intention new ways of being. I recently saw a post from FeministVoice that struck me with its beauty and simplicity.

For nearly three decades, I've been an avid student of practicing impeccability with my speech. That is, being clear about what I say and saying what I intend. I first learned this from Louise Hay. She talks about the implications of using words like "should" as a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) way of shaming. There's a sense of "you're not doing the right thing" when we say, "You should take the car to be serviced."

Instead, we can suggest that it might be a good idea to take the car in for service. That way, the listener has the power to make that choice without being "wrong" if they don't. Listen for when you use the word, "should" and notice if there's judgment there. Could you turn that should into a might, could, or would?

Another thing so many of us say all too regularly is, "I'm sorry." There are times when an apology is called for, and yet oftentimes it's said either without sincerity or in a self-shaming way. We needn't shrink ourselves to make others feel better about themselves.

That's where the post came in. It's given me a new place to explore. How does this land in you? Is there a way you can turn your "I'm sorry" into "Thank you"?

What practices are you enacting for 2017?


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